I'm sorry to feel this way...

Well, things have not been exactly going well, though you keep thinking that it is... I seriously feel that I am drifting apart and that is not good... I have never felt this way in any relationship before... Maybe my expectations were too high hence the disappointment... Maybe I am just fated not to get a romantic and caring guy of my dreams... Haiz, why does life have to be like this? It is like my friends have such nice boyfriends and stuff... I do not demand for an extremely gorgeous and hot hunk and stuff, but just one that would be there for me in times of need...

I thought you were my fairytale
My dream when I am not sleeping
A wish upon a star that is coming true
But when everyone else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

These lyrics hit me hard when I was listening to the song... Haiz... What can I do now? I start to feel that being single and me again is what I want... Well, the grass is always greener on the other side right? The bottom part of this song is worse, hence I shall not put it... I really do not know what to do or what I want... It is like I just suddenly got a tight slap in my face saying please wake up and prioritise... Maybe I am not ready for a relationship at all, and for the times that we were together, I was just clinging on to the glimpse of hope that we were going to make it...

Now, I seriously do not know whether we can make it or not... Yes I am trying to give this relationship another chance... but I have been hurt, and I need much time to heal... You cannot possible expect me to recover immediately because you treat me with so much care all of a sudden... Ironically, I feel scared, because I know that this is not your original self...

I do not want both of us to be fake... If I have control myself in front of you or you have to control youself in front of me, then I think we should not be together... It is like trying to tame a wild tiger... It is not a matter of compromising and accommodating, but it is more of whether our characters match or not...

You say you see a bright future ahead, but sad to say I really do not... I feel that I do not deserve a hot guy like you, but someone who is more supportive and demure does... I am a wild girl, whereas you are a refined man... See the difference? I am trying real hard to give us another chance, but I cannot promise that it would turn out well... I seriously hope that both of us are prepared for the worst...

Not trying to scare you, but I rather we have a short yet happy moment together then a long and painful road to walk on... I hope you understand what I am saying though I know that you do not read my blog... I am seriously in a dilemma now and it is affecting me bad... I feel insecure and lost... Choices have consequences and I am afraid, terrified that if I make the wrong move, I will regret for life... Yes I might be thinking too much, but don worry... They are all thoughts and I will still love life as it is...

Then now I am listening to S Club Goodbye... And it goes like that...

Nothing last forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye no regrets in your heart
Is the only way to destiny
Sometimes goodbye no regrets
Is the only way meant for you and me
Well it is the hardest thing to say
I miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
Oh don't you cry
Cause TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES...

Maybe I am just a girl whom you will meet and come across before meeting the right one... Well, we never know right... Haiz... Sorry to have given you much stress, unhappiness and distraction... But I believe that we had our happy moments together too right... Well, always look on the bright side of life... Ironically I am not doing it, but I will...

Let us just leave it to fate and see what happens... No matter what, no one should be blamed...

Too tired, emotionally and mentally...

Stress man.. Pissed too...

Well, here i am again, complaining about life as well as school... Hmmm, has presentation to do two days back... since i felt that i did not do much, i decided to take the responsibility to compile the power point and stuff... So yes, i got that job and went off for my CCA..

After CCA, went home and was damn tired.. Eyes burning like fire due to the swim.. But still, i have work to do, hence i started to do them while waiting for others to send me their updated copy...

Did finish, check already then went to sleep... Next day wake up late, look like zombie, rush like siao and was like damn panic cause i have not even read through my script...

Reach school feeling better cause got friends to see, then other groups started to present, that was when hell started to happen... There was this groupmate that i am supposedly close to, but actually not... So she was supposedly the leader, but like not.. Okie, i am speaking rubbish le.. So there i was happily listening to the presentation when suddenli, i hear " SHERYL! Where is my quiz?! Why didn't you put my quiz inside?!" I replied " Don't have meh? Thought i put evryone's in le... Can double check?" Then she " DON"T HAVE LOH!" and gave the i just got screwed face...

After that i started to be piss liao cause she was like blaming me before i can even clarify myself... Then went to toilet with Shi Hui... When i cam back, got mi mi mo mo again... " SHERYL! What did you do last night?! Everything is in a mess you know? What did you do huh?" Wha that time reach the peak already, if Mr Tan was not there, i would have flared and scolded her back... I just took the laptop outside and started to edit the fonts...

Okie, its my fault to have overlooked the font size, as she was in the classroom, would it kill her to just edit for me? She can scold me after things are done, but why spoil my mood then my presentation got screwed?!

Think that she is a the biggest queen on earth.. I don'y mind being with her knowing that she in not very well liked... Not saying that i am popular or what cause i am totally not.... At least treat your friends with some respect can... I also got my dignity and ego... If i were to shout and B**** about you like that, would you like it? Most of the times you laugh like having an...... And you talk with a fake slag when you want to... I mean, yes i know your english is good and all, but not as if the whole group got F9 what... If you think that our english is too lousy for you, then jolly well find other friends lah... I am too low grade for you.. Cant do work to your expectations...

I also cant stand the way you talk about your mother of lie that you never sleep and all... Saying you are tired and so on... Please, nobody placed a gun infront of you that you must work, it is something that you chose yourself, so blame no one for it... Like i join my CCA, go home tired but i cant blame anyone! I dont believe that your mother is so mean to you, if she is then you would not be in this school cause she will not even care about you.. This kinda mother daughter relationship is a 2 way thing.. If you treat your mother with more trust and love, she will definitely feel it and be nice to you too... Wait till one day when you lose someone really important to you, then you will know how to appreciate... Telling your friends how bad your mother is will do no one good, but make you look bad instead...

Well, you decide what you want and do not bother me... Thanks... Cause i feel stressed to be your friend.. Just too low life.. I hate to be scolded without even justifying myself... ANd you hit that dead point... CONGRATULATIONS YOU BLOB...